Will I really miss surgery?

As I transition from surgery to outpatient internal medicine, I am dealing with mixed emotions. Surgery is physically and mentally demanding because the days are long and you never really feel completely on top of what you are doing. You come in early and stay late, and you're lucky to get a break to grab a bite to eat at any reasonable time. But, I enjoyed it. I am interested in doing surgery as a career and it's almost like a rite of passage to go through this type of life. However, as a student, it's nice to have a little bit of a break to catch up on reading and doing the things that you've had to neglect because time and exhaustion do not work in your favor. It's also weird to just leave patients that you've worked with over the past month to another group of students who are not up to date with all that has been going on in the lives of these patients. As I had a chance to catch up on some rest this weekend, I actually started to mourn the death of my surgical experience. I know I will have the opportunity to do more as I approach my Residency choices, but I was surprised that I had such a visceral response to this rotation ending.